As a young girl, my family never really talked about college or bachelors degrees. It was just assumed that when you became an adult you went to work. My father was from a large southern family with few college grads and my mother from a more educated family where her mother was an RN and all the children went to college and completed bachelor’s degrees. So, as a small town girl, who started her married family life young, college was a fantasy, a what-if, definitely not a need. Or, so I thought.

Then I hit the job market and it didn’t take long working various factory, food service and retail jobs to decide that college was a necessity and not a distant dream. My first step was to go to a few local colleges and see what was needed to enroll. Less painless than I had feared, the entrance exams quickly led to perusing course schedules and setting up meetings with advisors.

Money was an object, and unlike today, there were not as many financing options and programs available to working, non-traditional students. Out came the credit cards and I limited my classes to those that would provide immediate, job enhancing skills paying off each semester as I went. Taking one to three classes a semester was tough, especially with a husband, a son and a job, but I knew to better myself and my family, I had to do it.

Thankfully, semesters don’t last the entire year, and I quickly learned to manage my time with a family/assignment/work white board and a few late nights. Every year was scheduled around class schedules, and family vacations were so much more meaningful at the end of the semester. Within 4 short years of starting my bachelor’s degree, I had acquired the knowledge and skills to launch my career in accounting. Pursuing my degree greatly increased my income and my family’s standard of living.

Along the way, my classes, professors and other students exposed me to greater understanding of the world around. I knew that college would train me in my chosen field of accounting, what I didn’t realize was that getting a bachelor’s degree would also broaden my horizons and give me the opportunity to learn things in depth.

By the time I started the final push to complete my lifelong goal of a bachelor’s degree, accelerated and online university programs were readily available, as were many more financing options.

The road was not short, nor was it easy, but the day I graduated with my bachelor’s degree was one of the happiest, and was the most self-satisfying, days of my life.

The decision to return to school was not an easy one. My husband and I went back and forth over it for weeks. There were so many questions we had to answer — who will take care of the house? Will we have enough money to live on? Who will handle all of the day-to-day chores that need to be done?

But the most important questions we faced concerned our kids. How would they respond to having both parents out of the home all day? Is it right to let them come home to an empty house? How would we keep up with their lives: their schoolwork, their friendships, their extracurricular activities.

Deciding to Go Back to School with Kids
In the end, we decided to lay out all of the responsibilities that we’d have to start sharing if I was to return to University. And we didn’t merely divide them between my husband and myself: the kids would have to start taking more care of their rooms, helping to cook meals, and even doing their own laundry. My going back to school would require help from the whole family.

We reasoned that my going back to school would bring a lot of benefits to the family, and so everyone should pitch in to make the transition easier. First of all, I’ve always regretted not finishing college. But dropping out seemed like the right thing to do at the time, and I don’t blame myself for making the decision.

What I realized, though, is that with my husband’s career beginning to take shape and my kids in junior high, “housewife” wasn’t a full-time job anymore. With a degree, I’d have the freedom and flexibility to start a career of my own by the time the kids were in high school. That’s something I’ve always dreamed of, and it seemed silly to not take advantage of the timing.

The Challenges of Raising Kids While in College
I won’t lie: going to school full time with two children has not been easy. Every week presents a new set of challenges and compromises that have to be made — and I’m usually the one that has to make them. At the same time, though, returning to school has been the most rewarding experience of my life, and I’m sure my children will appreciate the sacrifice they’re making when they’re go off to college.

Going to college can be an eye-opening experience for many people. And still, there are other people who have trouble balancing classes and free time. They want to meet new people, go on dates, and drink the day away. And thus, many students think they don’t need school and decide to take a semester off to “work.

At first, life can seem great: no classes or papers to write and no professors telling you what to do. However, once you stop taking classes and start working, it soon becomes apparent that school offers students something they will soon miss: the ability to have fun without most adult concerns.

When a person goes back to school, they now know the value of balancing classes with free time. The stint in the “real world” is enough to explain college’s place. In order to have time for fun, one must first make time for work to be finished.

It helps to experience college during the summer. There are people around, but there are fewer parties and more of a focus on school. Additionally, though there are people around, there are less of them, and this can make it seem as if you’re the only person at the school. This gives a person a renewed focus and appreciation for one’s classes and for education in general.

Taking a summer class will help you realize the impact Greek life and other social components of a school can have on you and on the campus. Taking classes in the summer may help you realize that school is important and can be just as fulfilling as meeting new people.

Ultimately college is all about how a person approaches it. You have to dedicate yourself and realize you are at the school to learn first and socialize second. This is sometimes hard to realize and follow through on, but it’s definitely something to consider.

This doesn’t mean you have to stop going out and meeting people. Instead, it means learning how to stay in until your work is done. It means looking at your life and balancing the social and work components. This will not only prepare you academically, but it will prepare you for life after college.

The crazy nights of college can be limited to the weekend or when you have a light load. If you focus on your education, you might even find an internship in a field you’re interested in. This could result in a job following graduation. If you limit your partying, you can set yourself up for the future and succeed.

Think about it: you and your parents and those pesky loans aren’t paying to party for four years. No. Instead, take this time to meet new people when you can but to focus on your studies. You don’t want to major in keg stands and graduate only to find you can’t find employment as a professional alcoholic. School is too important to drink away: You have to start balancing classes with free time before it’s too late.

Remember how you used to tell your parents that you couldn’t wait to graduate from high school so that you could move away and go to college. It was more about gaining freedom and independence than driving your parents crazy. They would always say that once you leave home, you will be wishing that you could come back. Well that was not the case for me.

You see I led a very sheltered life at home. I basically went to school, church, and home. I did my homework and read my church lessons. Outside of those activities, I had no social life. I talked for a couple of hours a week to friends that I had, but I never hung out with them outside of school. So when I said that I couldn’t wait to graduate and go to college never to look back, I was serious.

After graduating from high school and attending college, my life changed in a great way. I had the freedom to make my own decisions and do whatever I wanted to do. My parents were not there leading and guiding my every step, which was fantastic.

In college, I was out partying and having fun. I met many people in college in my classes and at various campus events, including sporting events, concerts, and parties. In college I had no time to just sit around my dorm room, because there was always something going on. From going to mixers to volunteering around campus and attending club meetings, I was never bored. Outside of my social life, I still had to attend classes, study, and make good grades to stay in college, which was not hard to do. In the beginning, I decided that my school work would come first before my social life, and neither my grades nor my social life ever failed because of that decision.

I was able to enjoy everything that college had to offer and I took it all in with joy and enthusiasm. I never turned down an opportunity to enjoy being in college, because college is not all about just hitting the books, but it is about enjoying your freedom and having fun before having to enter into the workforce full-time. College is your chance to have fun and become the person that you always wanted to be but could not be because of high school restrictions. College ended up being the best days of my life, because I made it fun and interesting. You will get out of your college experience what you put into it. If you want to have a great time in college, then make it great and get out there, attend campus activities, socialize, and meet new people.

One of my friends left for college two years before I did. She went to Tulane. When she came home during breaks, she had stories of fraternity parties which included drinking and good times. She attended these parties with the girls of the sorority to which she belonged. It seemed that she was having the time of her life.

When it was my turn to go, I applied to Tulane and other schools known for their parties, hoping to get into a sorority so that I could have as much fun as my friend had been having. The two colleges that I hoped to attend were Tulane and Bucknell University. Both rejected my application, so I went to another school that I felt safe with, American University.

It was not a school known for parties, but I was attracted to it. It was in DC, and I thought that it might be good for me to be in the city. It was my intention to major in journalism, but I also wanted to major in foreign language. It was possible to combine both of the majors into one called language and communication media, eliminating the need for two majors.

All the campus guides and brochures that I saw talked about the importance of interning. That would be great, I could have a job and work, even before I graduated.

No one told me that internships, most of the time, do not pay. Yet, I still hoped that I could combine my interning, my studies, and the partying I was planning to do. I had it planned, also, that if it didn’t work the way that I planned, I would transfer the following year.

I was not disappointed in my first week of college. I went to nightly frat parties and thought that I could continue enjoying myself while getting my education. I did not know that it is usually freshmen who go to frat parties. I found out that when you become twenty-one most of the students start going to bars. Before that, if you are not a freshman or a member of a sorority, there is not much to do.

When the sororities began recruiting, I could hardly wait to pledge. But, my grade point average was not good during the first semester, and I was not invited back to any sororities, except for two, and I did not desire to pledge to either of these. Finally, I decided to give up on all of it, but I was very upset when my roommate did pledge.

I tried very hard for the rest of the semester, to make new friends. When the end of the year came, it saddened me to leave all my friends. As I began my second year in college, I began to be bored with it all and was depressed much of the time. I began to ask for applications to other schools for which I felt I might be better suited.

My friend, who lived across the hall from me, was doing her interning and I remembered the words that I had read, earlier in some of the brochures and guides, about interning. “Maybe I should have tried it,“ I thought. I checked into it during my second year, and I did four different internships up to the time that I finished.

I learned that we have to control our own lives. If I had just stood back and waited for people and things to come to me, I would probably never have accomplished the things that I have.

I made many friends during my college years, and have had fun, while learning that if you expect to feel good about your accomplishments you must not allow yourself, or others, to stand in your way.

“Honey, I promise: everything is going to be alright.”

It was the night before I was set to fly into Jerusalem, and my husband attempted to calm my nerves as I lay crying in bed next to him. I was nervous and scared: I was about to leave home — alone — for three months on a Jewish Heritage Pilgrimage to Israel. I hadn’t been away from my son, Jack, for more than two days since he was born. I hated the thought that he might think I was abandoning him.

I was also worried about my marriage. Tim and I had been married for more than 10 years, and even though he traveled extensively for work, we promised each other that we’d never be apart for more than a week. And even though he was as supportive as I could have hoped for, I secretly wondered if he thought I was being selfish. He told me that he understood and respected my decision to explore my faith and my heritage, but I also knew how much anguish and anxiety the thought of my leaving was putting him through.

I almost canceled the trip twice in the weeks leading up to my flight. But my faith, just below my family, is one of my most cherished possessions. I knew that I’d hate myself for not going through with this trip. The thought of learning Hebrew in the cradle of mankind, of retracing my ancestors’ steps across the Sinai desert, of praying at the Western Wall filled me with a sense of pride and adventure. At the same time, though, I was scared by the prospect of not seeing my husband or son for three months.

Making the Decision

As my husband assured me that everything would be alright, I realized why I wanted to visit Israel in the first place. Although I was putting my family life on hold for three months, I was also exploring a world that I had neglected ever since the realities of being a wife and a parent took hold of my daily schedule. This trip was an opportunity for all of us to grow — not just in terms of myself and my faith, but for my husband and Jack to form a bond that would be all their own.